I Want To Marry Harry.

Prince William put a ring on girlyfriend of nine years, Kate Middleton.

It's a sweet story- college sweethearts, a prince marrying a commoner, William honoring his late mother by gifting Kate with Princess Diana's engagement ring- a very sweet story.

Cue remix noise.

A very sweet story until a friend of Kate's once told her "you're lucky to be with William", and she replied, "he's lucky to be with me."
Actually, you're wrong, Kate.  You're a commoner, marrying a future king.
Get real.

St. Andrews (where the two met) wasn't even your first choice.  You attended thanks to mother dearest and her mandate that you go to the school Prince William would be at, beginning your ambitious and unnatural journey to Royalty.  If you went to Edinburgh like you wanted, you'd probably be paying a big tab for an unimportant wedding, but instead, your engagement to William spells out: free wedding courtesy of UK's taxpayers.
A free wedding.  A free (probably Issa) wedding dress.  A free life.

I'm sorry, who's the lucky one again?

But who cares.  About William or Kate?
PRINCE HARRY IS CLEARLY THE HOTTER PRINCE.

How can a girl not get an O after knowing that this great looking redhead (which are super hard to come by) served in the military and served 77 days on the front lines of Afghanistan despite the fact that his royal status could have exempted him from combat?!  Oh and his time was only cut to 77 days because Harry's whereabouts were published on the internet.

Oh my god.

I can't write anymore.

Harry, marry me.