Introducing Hollywood's Worst.

Kristen Stewart. What a freakin' weirdo.

No longer are award shows fun to watch because:

Uno: Sandra Bullock? Zoe Saldana? Jennifer Aniston? (okay Jen hasn't come out with anything great recently since Friends but she was on the 2010 Peoples' Choice Awards ballot for some female award.) Who? These big-screen mamas deserve trophies and recognition but you won't see them gracing the stage with gold popcorn or a surf board anymore. No. Instead, you will see this:



Dos: Which brings me to my second point. Not only must you watch K undeservingly accept awards, you must watch her thank people for them. An excruciating 45 seconds no one should have to ever endure. See below for a second example:



At least you're consistent, K. The countless "uhs" are not annoying at all.

Tres: She is a character on Twilight. That is all.

Quatro: Her hair always looks like it's unwashed and greasily sleeked back. C'mon, K. It's called dry shampoo.

Cinco: As much as I hate K.Stew and her utter apathy towards life, I typically find her red carpet wear far more acceptable than her acceptance speeches. Which doesn't say much so let me translate: I love her red carpet wear (50% of the time...).

Considering that my love for K is a
consistent ZERO percent,
it bugs me that I even remotely like
whatever she's wearing at these events that she should not even be attending. For a gal who lacks poise and general social skills, at least she's not a total disaster when taking pictures. This can probably be credited to the fact that walking on a piece of carpet requires no talking. Thank.The.Lord.

But despite her gorgeous attire at the above three events, we must remember we are talking about Kristen Stewart, possibly the most unfortunate asset to Western pop culture next to Snooki and Russel Brand.
Therefore, please allow me to finish off this entry by highlighting K's most amazing outfit of all:

*Drumroll please, even though the picture is already mirrored to the left of this fake drumroll...*

<-- Ta-da. Dis-as-ter.