Get Off Royal Soil

Is it just me or is anyone else sick of reading about the Royal family?

I mean, if it's not about Lisa Vanderpump, I really don't give.

Between the morning sickness, speculation of twins, and those two Australian assholes who joked their way into being held responsible for Kate's suicidal nurse, the Royals really have a way of marking their territory on the Internet's most precious real estate.  (www.people.com : Beverly Hills :: www.foursquare.com : Camden, NJ.)
If you thought you never had to comprehend these post-'90s, consider it a vintage brain exercise.
Because if you're on www.foursquare.com you really don't understand the point of foursquare.
I mean, you can't become mayor via desktop.

Just wondering...when Kate Middleton voms, is it a slightly more glam form of upchuck?
Are there rose petals involved?  Or just processed Rose from dinner?
Is it marketable on eBay?  Someone just tried to sell dirt from JB's hometown, surely this could sell.
Trying to picture it, but honestly, this gal doesn't even look like she goes #2. 

I can't believe I'm saying this but I wish Lindsay would just crash another car, Amanda would get another mugshot, Rihanna would go back to Chris Brown...oh wait, did all these gals already max out to the point of irrelevancy?  Sorry gals, you guys are just way past playing cover girl for Hollywood's most troubled. 

I guess here's to Kate, to having a stress-free pregnancy and to hoping that her bab(ies) get a little more of Harry's genes than William's.  Except maybe the hair color.  But on sheer volume, we definitely need to pull from Harry's gene pool.  

Kate, we know you're gonna be a great mom, but that makes for boring stories.  We need you to clear out so that we can keep track of how messed up Britney's kids are gonna be.

Thanks in advance for packing up your things and making the exit.  Promise you won't make another appearance on the interwebs until due date?  Good.  I really need to keep up with the important stuff.  You know, like Khloe's heartbreakingly futile efforts to bear children.